I want to show you how to use one of the most effective parts of this 3-step process, one you can use at home – self-hypnosis.
By: Hena Hussain
Would you take some time for yourself today?
In my first email, I wrote about the fears I faced in my past and the 3-step process I used to overcome my fear. In this email, I want to show you how to use one of the most effective parts of this 3-step process, one you can use at home – self-hypnosis.
Inner Reflection through Self-Hypnosis
In a very real sense, all hypnosis is self-hypnosis, since you are in control of your thoughts and your mind. A skilled hypnotist can guide your thoughts to produce the brain wave state where you can learn and change. They will then help you guide your mind by making carefully selected suggestions, based on their knowledge and training, but you can do some of this for yourself. It is a wonderful skill to learn as it will enable you to use your powerful mind to address anything life throws at you.
Preparation
Start by making sure you are in a safe, quiet place. If you’re at home, make sure your stove is turned off and the doors are locked. Separate yourself from your family and turn your phone off. You are taking 20 minutes to work on helping yourself.
Step One
•Get comfortable and close your eyes. Focus on your own body. Starting with your feet and working your way to your head, tense and relax all the major muscle groups in your body.
Step Two
•Breathe deeply, hold, and then let go.
•Say to yourself: “I am twice as relaxed.” Repeat and say, “more relaxed still.” Repeat this ten times.
•Focus on your breath. Feel the air going down into your lungs and your chest expanding. Feel the tension leaving your body as you breathe out.
Step Three
•Notice the random thoughts in your mind.
•Acknowledge each thought as it
appears.
•Let it drift away, watch it get smaller and smaller. Let your subconscious take over.
Step Four
•Imagine a safe place where you feel happy or secure. This may be a memory of a place you know, or it can be somewhere you create in your imagination.
Step Five
•Imagine this place as strongly as you can, using all your senses. Make the colors brighter and the picture clearer. Listen for the sounds. Feel the temperature. Feel how the air or the ground feels on your body. Notice the smells around you.
Step Six
•Tell your mind to find any issue you wish to consider. Imagine you are holding it in your hand. Imagine this issue as an object in your hand. Now use your mind to change how that object looks and feels to you.
•Let any negative energy and connotations leave the object. Watch as they float away. Focus on the object as it changes and becomes what you want it to be. It is likely to feel lighter and look brighter.
•Turn it around in your hand noticing how the light reflects and refracts. Be aware that it is your powerful mind that is making these important changes. Let the changes happen, as they will, at the pace you choose.
•Continue until you know that you have done as much work as is right for you today. Put the object down but be assured you can return to do more work and make new discoveries if you want to.
•Focus on your safe and lovely place and notice any differences here. Promise your safe place that you will return very soon. Stretch out your arms and take a deep breath. Open your eyes and return to your everyday state.
After this exercise, you should feel relaxed and peaceful. This process will get easier with practice. If you can, pick a regular time of the day for practicing self-hypnosis.
As you let go of layers of fear, you will free up the space for love and freedom. In my book, From Fear to Freedom: My Journey I detail many other useful techniques to bring inner peace.
Stages Of Grief
By:Shabnam Khan – Family Counsellor
Grief is a somewhat complicated and misunderstood emotion. Yet, grief is something that, unfortunately, we must all experience at some time or other. We will all inevitably experience loss. Whether it is a loss through death, divorce or some other loss, the stages of grieving are somewhat the same.
There are five stages of grief. If we get stuck in one stage or the other, the process of grieving is not complete, and cannot be complete. Thus there will be no healing. A person MUST go through the five stages to be well again, to heal. Not everyone goes through the stages at the same time. It is different for each person. You cannot force a person through the stages, they have to go at their own pace, and you may go one step forward then take two steps backward, but this is all part of the process, and individual to each person. But, as stressed, ALL five stages must be completed for healing to occur.
1-Denial-”this can’t be happening to me”, looking for the former spouse in familiar places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.
2-Anger-”why me?” feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.
3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing and praying for them to come back.
4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self-pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.
5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault; they didn’t leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.
Get help. You will survive. You will heal, even if you cannot believe that now, just know that it is true. To feel pain after loss is normal. It proves that we are alive, human. But we can’t stop living. We have to become stronger, while not shutting off our feelings for the hope of one day being healed and finding love and/or happiness again. Helping others through something we have experienced is a wonderful way to facilitate our healing and bring good out of something tragic.
For any inquiries please email at
shabnam@skcounselling.ca
What If being happy is easier than you thought?
By: Asma Shums, Mortgage Broker
Yes, being happy with a family is the most blissful thing. It comes when family has love for each other, unity, and good communication. Family is made of grandparents, parents, children, aunts and uncles, and more. Some families are nuclear too. When all members know their boundaries and puts others needs ahead of theirs leads to happiness and harmony.
Atmosphere. Mood. Action.
When there is love, trust, and relaxed atmosphere in the house, it affects is extended to the moods of family members and ultimately their actions. We are very polite and courteous with strangers or coworkers which does not continue once we are home after work. We are tired and take our family for granted even if we don’t want to. We do not take care to be polite or behave any which way we want with carelessness in our actions. We are aware that no matter what we do or say our families will understand and stand by us. If this hurts our family or done when they are themselves in a bad mood, we snap at them and are generally impatient in our actions. The seeds of anger and discontent are sewed by such small or big incidences which might not seem to be in our control, but is.
We are all busy fighting a daily battle of livelihood. There are situations beyond our control or capacity but family should always come first. We are energetic and positive with clients, coworkers, patients, and friends which drains from our system when we are in our own private homes. We think this is alright and family will understand but consistent occurrences like this hurts the ones closes to us. Our children can observe this. It spoils the mood and atmosphere of our home and adds distance slowly yet steadily. We live in a house together but in an individual way. If there is any serious problem, we may help each other but the atmosphere is unpleasant on a daily basis.
We hear parents complaining that children give more importance to friends and family or children complaining that parents are busy in their lives. On family days, children choose to go out with friends when these plans collide resulting in hot discussions and fights. If they do have to go with parents they sulk, aren’t in good moods. When they go with friends, parents are hurt. There are many instances like this that happen daily.
Need for Balance.
We should strike balance somewhere. The impact of these behaviours isn’t short term but transcends into the general atmosphere we associate with our home. Unfortunately, there is no course or textbook that outlines how to be a good child or parent. These lessons are learnt daily in real time at home. Children see their parent’s behaviour, and their children observe their behaviour.
Info::asmashums@gmail.com
By Asma Shums:
When asked “What were you doing before
marriage?” he answered, “whatever I felt like.”
Life is like 52 cards. Which card end up on your
hand are a matter of luck but how to play them is
in your hands. God always listens to our prayers
even when we do not have words.
