Fear of Public Speaking

Dear Dr. Expert,
I have an intense fear of speaking in public! It’s gotten really bad. Every time I have to get up and do a presentation for school, my heart starts beating fast, I get ringing in my ears, and I’m sure I’m going to pass out! It’s gotten so bad that I have been pretending to be sick every time I know I have a presentation. It’s beginning to affect my grades because I keep getting bad marks on presentations. Failing in Fort Nelson
Dr. Expert: Dear Failing in Fort Nelson,
Unfortunately, there really aren’t any shortcuts – the best way to overcome a fear of public speaking is to face your fear head-on! However, just like if you were learning to swim you wouldn’t jump right into the deep end of the water without floaties. You want to face this fear gradually. First, learn some relaxation strategies like calm breathing (clicking on it takes you to teen calm breathing section). Learning to relax can make speaking in public a little easier. Next, you want to make a list of all the possible ways you could present in public from the least scary to the scariest. For example, it may be that presenting in front of your family may be a 3/10 on a scale of how afraid you are. That would be a good first step. After you have mastered that, you might want to progress to invite a couple of other friends over to hear you talk. Later steps could be talking in the classroom with just the teacher present, showing a video of yourself doing the presentation in front of the whole class, and later presented in front of the class. If you work on fighting your fear in small steps daily – you’ll be public speaking in no time! It can also be helpful to remind yourself that everyone gets embarrassed sometimes and it doesn’t last forever – you’ll love! And if the worst thing you can imagine is others laughing at you, plan for what you would do if that happened – the best strategy is to say “whoops! Um, rewind!” and laugh with them. Rehearsing how you would handle some of those situations will help you feel more confident and shine. Good luck!
Make A List of Fears
You need to gradually face the things you fear! The process of facing fears is called exposure. Exposure involves slowly and repeatedly facing things you fear until you feel less anxious.
Starting with things that are less scary, you work your up towards facing things that are scarier. This process happens naturally all the time. For example, when you learned to ride a bike you started on a tricycle. Then, you moved to ride a bike with training wheels and your Mom or Dad holding on to the back of the bike. Finally, you worked your way up to riding a two-wheel bike on your own. This process also happens when we learn to swim or drive a car.
The first step in facing your fears is to make a list of the situations, places, or things that you fear.
Here’s an example.
Lin has social anxiety and is afraid of a number of social situations. For example, she is scared to talk to other kids at school. She is afraid to answer questions in class and avoids doing class presentations at all costs. Lin tends to avoid going to parties unless she knows everyone who will be there. She also avoids going shopping, as she doesn’t want to talk to the salespeople.
Lin’s list of feared situations might include:
*talking to classmates
*asking her teacher a question
*answering a question in class
*doing a presentation
*going to a party or school dance
*going shopping and asking a salesperson to help her find a size.
EXERCISE: Pull out a piece of paper and start listing the things that you fear.
Tips To Making A List Of Your Fears
Here are some tips to help you make your list of fears.
Your list should include lots of situations, some that would be easier to face and some that would be harder.
Sometimes we can have lots of different fears, so it can help to group similar fears together. For example, you may have a fear of heights and a fear of germs. Make a different list for each fear theme.
Common fears include: being around other kids, trying new things, talking to unfamiliar people, public speaking, animals, insects, needles, heights, touching things that may be covered in germs, doing things alone, making mistakes, things being out of place, driving, and being in crowded places.
There are a number of things that may make something easier or harder for you to do:
Length of time
Talking to a classmate for 30 seconds is easier than talking to someone for 5 minutes. Doing a 2-minute speech is easier than doing a 5-minute speech.
Distance
Standing 20 feet from a dog is easier than standing next to one. Looking at a picture of a needle is easier than holding an actual needle.
Who is with you
Going to the mall with a friend may be easier than going alone. Letting yourself make a mistake when talking to your mom may be easier than making a mistake when talking to the sales assistant at a store, which may be easier than making a mistake when talking to your teacher.
Pick a specific goal!
It can also be helpful to think of a specific goal. Then, list all the steps you would need to take in order to accomplish that goal. For example, your goal may be to get a needle. Steps might include: 1) looking at pictures of needles; 2) watching videos of needles; 3) holding a needle; 4) holding the needle against your skin; 5) watching someone else get a needle, and 5) getting a needle.
Break Things Up Into Smaller Steps
Often, the things on your list of fears can be broken up into smaller steps. Some steps will be easier and some will be harder.
For example, Lin is afraid to talk to her classmates.
This can be broken up into a number of steps:
Saying “hi” to a classmate in the hall.
Asking a classmate a quick question. (For example, “Is the math quiz on Friday?”)
Sharing weekend plans with a classmate.
Lin is also afraid to do a presentation in class.
This can be broken up into a number of steps:
1: Doing a short presentation in front of a friend.
2: Doing a short presentation in front of
the teacher.
3: Doing a short presentation in front of the teacher and a few friends.
Source: www.anxietycanada.com/