Joint family system is a common living arrangement in countries like Pakistan and India where all family members, regardless of age, live in the same house. While it is a traditional way of living, in this modern age, where everyone has the right to live their life freely, many argue that joint family system is a hindrance in the way of development.
If you look at the history of the world, this family system has always been found in all the civilizations of the world, whether the society was considered “uncivilized” or developed. It was not specific to any religion or region. It was created as a need of the time and with the passage of time its unpopularity is increasing due to the changing priorities of life.
A major aspect of this system is the lack of protection and privacy of private life. It is the natural desire of man to have a place where he can live freely with his wife and children. In the joint family system, unless the household is set up in an autonomous independent way, due to the close proximity of many people all the time, there is not a lot of privacy, which can cause a distance in the relationship for couples.
Islam has not defined any particular family system, such as joint family system or separate family system. Man is born free by nature, and solitude is a desire regardless of immense busyness. He is not at all willing to lose his identity and to have his tastes, moods and personal problems neglected for the sake of others.
It is important to consider and respect the common human values, but one’s own privacy should not be lost.
If we look at it from an Islamic point of view, in the joint family system, non-mahrams such as brother-in-law share the same household. If you are a woman living with your husband’s family, most of men in the same household non-mahram and this is not a favored practice in Islam. Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) gave separate houses to all his wives. Hazrat Fatima (RA) was the most beloved daughter of the Prophet (PBUH) and Ali (RA) who was very dear to the Prophet (PBUH) also gave her a separate house after their marriage .
If we look at the joint system in the present era, it is playing a less constructive and more destructive role in the society. Even in Canada, the joint family system is not successful and many times such situations arise that relationships become complicated, and couples sometimes even reach the point of divorce. In a usual household, both husband and wife are employed and elderly parents living at home can take care of their children which is often argued as the better option. However, if such a living arrangement strains the relationship between husbands and wives, it cannot be considered as successful. Of course, marriages fail for many different reasons, including betrayal of trust, sometimes even from the time of getting married when lies are used about education, work and family, physical or psychological illnesses and financial conditions are not told truthfully. However, unnecessary interference from the parents and relatives of both sides are also a common cause of creating rifts in their relationships and the joint family system often provides an ideal setting for such things.
The balance of power can oscillate between the husband’s family or the wife’s family dominating in such a way that only they are found intervening in every matter of the house which affects only the husband and wife but also their children. Negative feelings may develop which may lead to mental health and other serious issues.
Many a times divorce comes because the husband and wife do not fully understand each other. The key to the success of married life is trust, tolerance, and patience. It should also be kept in mind that no one is perfect and in the Holy Qur’an.
Allah has said that men and women are protector/garment of each other. Just as clothes give us beauty and cover by hiding the defects, husbands and wives should highlight the good in each other and not advertise each other’s flaws. They should avoid unnecessary competitions like income, education, appearance, and family background. It should be remembered that each person has his own personality. After understanding each other, you can turn flaws into strengths.
In bad family break-ups where children are involved, it often affects them mentally. They may lose their confidence, interest in life, and even become the victim of drugs or gangs.
We all should think about this issue together. The parents of the boy and the girl should save their lives from destruction by interfering in the matter of married children. On the other hand, the children should not neglect their duties and care their parents when they need them. The survival of the society is a strong family. If you want to strengthen yourself, your family, and the community, then everyone must work together to find a way where with tolerance, love and patience we can all live happily in our free environment and help others at difficult times. Be able to stand with each other in times of sorrow.
In this case, neither the parents will be waiting for death alone, nor the children will be affected by distracted and stressed parents, leading them to vices such as drugs and crime.
This is a very critical and serious problem. Family is just as important as living independently. The condition of the free society of the western motherland is in front of you. Islam emphasizes moderation and that is the way to salvation.
Let’s all think together how to create a community where the elderly is not helpless, and husbands and wives are not suffering from depression unable to be effective parents.
What do you think?
Laysa Lil Insana illa ma’ sa’aa
That man can have nothing but what he strives for.
Tuesday, April 21, 2026
